It is about five weeks into the Fall trimester at Palmer and things are overall good. I am still in the undergraduate program and after this trimester ends I have one more before I start the graduate program! I am very excited to start the graduate program, but I am also glad that I have more time in the undergraduate program to get my mindset ready for the rigorous, yet rewarding, road that is to come.
This trimester I am taking four classes: exercise science, history of health science, the prevention of athletic illness and injury, and chemistry. I am enjoying all of these classes, as well as the professors that teach them. I find myself extra tired this trimester and even though I am motivated, the days just seem to go on and on. The work that I have right now is not even close to what is to come, but I do find myself covering more material that is harder than my first trimester here. I sometimes get anxious about the future because it is a lot to take on and when I graduated from high school in May 2018, I never would have thought that a year and a half later I would be enrolled in a professional school. When I look back at the amount of work that I have done both inside and outside of school, it tires me. I love school and I love learning, but damn is it exhausting. I’ve been in school for somewhere close to sixteen years (since I was about 3) and I will be done (minus continuing education) in a little over three years. That is twenty years of organized schooling… TWO DECADES. I am fortunate though to be able to say that because there are some that would give anything for a single year…hell…a single class period even.
Sometimes I feel out of place because I am much younger than a lot of those that go here and I feel like my mind is young at times. It is really just a confusing time for me. I know that I have every right to be here and that I deserve to be here no matter my age, gender, or ethnic background. But, sometimes I do just feel out of place. I think that this feeling will waiver more as I start the graduate program because my undergraduate status does sometimes also make me feel a little…insignificant. It is most definitely not the school that does this, it is myself and the way that my mind works. The school and the students treat us all the same, which is very welcoming, I just have some own personal battles to fight with my mind.
I know that, in the end, everything will be okay. I am confident in myself and my abilities, even though sometimes I have little doubts, I know that doubts will only prevent me from reaching my goal. The only thing that could ever stop me from reaching my goal is me. As a professional and as an adult in general, we need to be accountable for our actions and recognize that most things are in our control and that the results of most things that happen in our lives are on us. It is up to me to find the motivation and work through the stress and tiredness that sometimes feel as if it is too much to bear. I definitely have a good support system, but it is still just you at the end of the day when you shut your eyes. Even if you have a husband or wife or partner or someone you live with, you are with yourself always.
I am excited for the end of the year to come up and for the trimester to keep on progressing. There are only good things in the future and that I am positive of. Good things are happening and good things are coming.