That Feeling – A Poem

A poem about the journey of new love, heartbreak and finally healing. Enjoy.

That feeling 
In my stomach 
Your name on my phone 
That feeling 
The first time it was you and I alone 
Blood racing through my heart 
I’ve been hit by Cupid’s dart 
That feeling 
Oh how I loved that feeling 
 
The messages 
The calls 
The FaceTimes 
The visits 
Oh that feeling was so exquisite  
Hands interlocked, I’m rubbing your thumb 
When we were together, we were not two, but one 
 
That feeling 
Your kisses down my neck, my waist, and my thighs,  
I called it making love, not sex. You were mine in my eyes. 
 
That feeling 
Turned into something unusual and different 
One day we’re at dinner  
And the next we are distant 
That feeling 
Is space growing in between our souls 
All I could ask the universe was, “what is your goal?” 
 
That feeling  
The sadness deep in my chest 
The only thing that cures it is a forced, unsatisfactory nights rest 
 
My heart  
It beats  
So fast  
I’m scared 
For it is now anxiety, not love, in my chest that is bared 
The tingles in my skin 
I’m numb 
I can’t take it  
That feeling 
When you left me 
My heart...why did you break it? 
 
I cried and I wept and I screamed and I cursed 
That feeling  
Everything you said now seems rehearsed  
The questioning 
The doubt 
The self hate 
And the hurt 
That feeling 
Why was my heart kicked around like dirt? 
 
That feeling 
It’s different. It’s weakened. It’s far.  
No longer do I question why I feel emotions so raw 
I look back at the tears, the hurt, the weeping and screams 
I smile because pain is not as bad as it seems 
 
I construct my reality and power do I have 
The stab in my chest is now a scar, not a scab 
That feeling 
That soars through my body all day 
I’m happy and cheerful like a newborn puppy at play.  
 
That feeling 
Time passes. Rebirthing. Renew. 
That feeling 
Like a caterpillar flourishing out of its cocoon 
A blue butterfly taking its first flight in the world 
That feeling 
I am no longer a broken-hearted girl