In my last post I made a comment on reactions. I know this is something that is difficult and not even close to being simple…but nevertheless it is important. The life that we are living is going to be filled with people who are put here to build and test our strength. The stupidity and the carelessness of others is out of our control and it is ultimately inevitable. No matter how good of a person we are or how selfless our actions are, we will never have complete control of the world that surrounds us. Whether is is nature or other people, some things are out of our control…and that is just life.One thing that we can control is the way we choose to live our lives and react to the good and bad things that happen.

Starting with the bad, I know at times life seems impossible, but we must fight like hell and carry on. We are powerful, resilient, and flexible beings. We are able to withstand great trauma and pressure…we have the ability to adapt to many different circumstances. Our bodies can utilize different systems and our parasympathetic or sympathetic nervous systems can change the way that our bodies function in order to survive. Survival is written in human DNA and survive is what we all must and will do.

When things go bad, it is okay to recognize that it is bad. Do not ignore the bad because that will lead to nothing good to come. Acknowledge the bad, even look yourself in the mirror and vocalize the bad to yourself. Feel the bad. Experience the bad. But then tell yourself that this bad is not forever. You have to realize that whatever has happened has happened. The past is tricky because although the past can effect the present, the past is ultimately the past and it can never be changed. I am going to say that again. The past can never and will never be changed. No matter what we do, no change will ever occur to the past. What can be changed is the future. We can better our mindset and try everything in our power to make this life a better one. I know it may sound silly, but you really do have to tell yourself that everything will be okay. Talk to yourself and be there for yourself, because if you are not there for yourself…why would the world? Even when the bad seems to be the end…you have to try and ease your reaction in a different direction. Once you start to focus on the way you react to things, you will notice that the anger, sadness, guilt, jealousy, and despair that you feel won’t last as long. If someone does something that would normally make you angry or if someone hurts you and makes you sad…you can feel that emotion, but work on feeling it for a shorter time. Life is too short to be clouded with negative emotions that ultimately only take their toll on the self.

Now for the good, each and every time something happens in your life that makes you smile or makes your eyes light up, thank the universe. Even if it is something as simple as hitting all green lights on your way home or getting eleven chicken nuggets when you ordered ten…smile because as cliche as it may sound, the little things in life are often the profound ones. You have to find joy in all things in life because this life we have only lasts for a set amount of time…and why live it with anything other than joy? Step outside and look around you. The sun is shining, there is that plentiful oxygen in the air, and the sky is blue. Even in the wake of a storm. The smell of oncoming rain fills your nasal cavity, the booming sound of thunder and lightning vibrates your tympanic membrane, and the breeze chills your skin. You are alive and you are feeling and experiencing the beautiful world around you. Once you start to feel joy in all the things that surround you, you will notice that joy will be abundant in comparison to despair.

Do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. Do the world a favor. Choose to be happy. It takes effort. So much effort. It will not come easy. You need to tell yourself that you are worth it and I’m telling you right now that you are worth it. You need to decide to react to things that have happened and that have yet to happen in a positive way. That test you are dreading? Stop dreading it. Thinking that, “I am going to fail,” “Nothing good will come,” “I should have studied more,” that will not change anything. Instead think, “I will do my best and the grade I receive is what I receive and it is not reflective on my ability or who I am as a person.” If you don’t get the best grade…accept it and move on. What is done is done. That relationship didn’t work out? Be sad about it if you may, but then realize that it happened for a reason and it cannot be undone. Heartbreak and sadness are inevitable, but happiness and joy are always possible. Some things may take longer to get over and to grow past…but as long as you tell yourself that you will see brighter days…keep on keeping on. Your reactions lead to actions which leads to changes in your life. Your reactions are very powerful. I want you to understand that as deeply as you can. We are all in this life together and we all experience hurt and trauma. You are never alone, so please never feel that way. You have the power to control the way you react, take charge of your life and commit yourself to yourself because you deserve that. Make your life beautiful despite the unavoidable evil that lurks in the dark depths of the universe. You have the choice, so choose you.

Choose Love.

Love. The most powerful energy to exist in the world. Romantic love between a husband and wife, platonic love between two best friends, or the unconditional love from a pet—love surrounds all. Love can fix all the wrongs in the world. Real love is never selfish, if it draws negativity into the world it is not love, perhaps it is lust or desire. Everyone and everything is deserving of love, no matter the wrongdoings that an individual does. It must be remembered that if a person was shown complete love for the entire life lived, then the wrongdoing may not have occurred. Love is accepting the faults in a person, no matter how burdening those faults may seem. Love is physical as in respecting the gift of the body and the gift of the world with absolute caution and admiration. Love is mental as in love the self and regarding the self as a work of art, because the self is spectacular, and the occurrence of each person is almost impossible. Love is vocal as in acknowledging to others the love you have, whether that other be a human being, an animal, an insect or a favorite book. Recognizing love and declaring love is ever so powerful. Love should consume the soul for eternity because what other than love should be felt? Love can be felt even during the bad times. The loss of a loved one is heartbreaking, yet the chance that was had to love that person must be appreciated. Love is universal and the boundaries of love do not exist. There is no wrong love or unacceptable love.

Love is everywhere and there is no instance in which love is unable to appear, because if hate and anger are possible, then so is love. Manifest love internally and express love externally. The more love you allow to surround you, the more love you’ll notice in your life. Love the birds, the bees, the sky, the trees, and even love the materialistic things that you own. That is one beautiful thing about humans, we give things meaning. Your favorite baseball cap? Favorite pair of pants? Favorite coffee shop? Or even that necklace you wear everyday that your late grandmother gave you? Love it all. It is always said that material items mean nothing, but while they do not mean as much as connections between people, they do mean something. There is no shame in giving something meaning and simply loving it, that is what being human is all about. Everyday we buy cars, houses, go to school, eat at our favorite restaurant, even when we know that this life is not forever. Everyone knows that sooner or later, life will end and many think that everything we have done in our life means nothing–but that is not true. Make it your goal to love as much as you can. Touch others hearts. When you die, everything that you have touched lives on. Even love you show one person can impact another indirectly. Love is powerful and love is everlasting. Not feeling and showing love is a choice, but then that means that feeling and showing love is a choice. Choose love.

I love you.

I Forgive You

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

It is oftentimes the hardest things in life that are the most rewarding. Whether it be a test that takes several days to study for that you ace or that car you finally purchase after working doubles back to back—nothing good ever comes easy. One thing in life that is essential to the survival of the self, but is a rather challenging feat is forgiveness. I am not talking about short apologies through text that is merely a subtle, “I’m sorry,” I am talking about true forgiveness.

Forgiveness, although crucial, is not something that comes easy. In fact, reaching forgiveness takes great strength from an individual. We are a protective species and when another person hurts us or someone we love, those protective instincts come out. What is also instinctual is our ability to adapt and adjust, because without that ability we would perish. Forgiveness is a form of adaption and adjustment. We must adapt, or learn to live with what occurred and adjust, or find a new balance that is suitable for survival. I realize that there are certain instances in which forgiveness seems impossible. Sometimes someone can take a person you love out of your life or a person can hurt you so deeply that you can never bounce back to the same person you were before. But if there is one thing that never changes, it is that holding a grudge and hate towards someone will only make you feel worse. Negative energy is like a slowly developing illness. It starts off as something as simple as a scowl, then it turns to dwelling that makes you feel sick to your stomach, then it turns into petty comments made to others, and from there it only gets worse. Holding a grudge will hurt yourself more than the person you are choosing to hold the grudge against and that is something that I can guarantee.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

While forgiveness is important, something that one should never do is forget. Do not forget the wrongs that people have done to you, because that will only lead to history repeating itself and for the same hurt to be brought on your soul. Think back and reflect on possible signs that could have been there, because red flags are often very hidden. Also know that it is not your fault for getting hurt. A good friend once told me that. Being blinded by feelings is not a point of failure, it is a point of being human. I found myself blaming myself for the hurt that others caused me. I told myself that I should have known better and that I saw it coming and should have protected myself—but then I would have stepped away from a part of myself that I do not want to change. I would have stepped away from the part of myself that believes in the good in people and believes in giving people a chance even when you’re unsure. One thing, though, that I have been working on is taking the past and using it to help myself live a better future. I refuse to let myself get hurt again like I have in the past. I will not accept it—but, I will also not close my heart off because no matter what happens I will never stop loving and showing people my love. That is the important thing about the past. It is the past. It can never be undone, and it can never be changed.

The only thing that you can do for the ones that have hurt you is to pray for their growth in all aspects of life. It does not have to be a religious being that you pray to, just address the universe and ask it to guide them in the right direction. Those that hurt us are hurting the most and need the most guidance. I always remind myself that the universe would never send anything my way that the universe knew I could not handle. I could very easily, if I wanted to, not forgive several people in my life. I could go about my day constantly thinking about how certain people did me wrong, but what would be the point of that? As I sit here and dwell, that person goes on about their life and doesn’t think twice about me and my feelings. Instead of not reaching forgiveness, I could take as long as I need to accept what has happened and use the pain that I experienced to become a stronger person. There is no time limit on forgiveness. Some will forgive right away, while others may need some extra time. Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be hurting as much as you are and that you should be healing faster—everyone experiences pain differently.

If I could go back in time and change a few things—I wouldn’t. If I could go back in time to feel a few things again—I wouldn’t. I choose to live in the present with aspirations for the future because what has been done is the past can never be undone. I choose to accept that what has occurred in my life is all part of my path in becoming the best version of me that I can become. To the one who introduced me to racism—thank you. To the friends who have left me—thank you. To the girls who harassed me in high school—thank you. To the first boy who broke my heart—I thank you the most. To everyone who has ever hurt my soul, whether it was on purpose or by accident, thank you. Taking all the bad that has been done to you and manifesting it into good, positive energy is the only way to survive. There are going to be several people in everyone’s lifetime that causes them pain, if we internalize the pain constantly and never let it be the seed for something better—we will only fail to grow and never see a better day.

Even though forgiveness should be reached, it doesn’t mean that you still can’t hurt. Sometimes a person can cut so deep inside of your soul that the pain will linger there forever—they change your DNA. But even the strongest souls cry sometime—it is never not okay to cry, and it is never not okay to feel. Nothing that you feel on your journey of healing will ever make you weak. Allow yourself to hurt, but do not let that hurt consume your entire life because there is so much more beauty to life than constant pain. If there is anything that you do today, tell yourself this, “I am greater than all of the pain and hurt that I have experienced. I am worthy of abundance, bliss, love, and joy. Only growth can come from here.”

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

My First Reiki Cleansing…

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

I decided to make my journey to Awaken2Spirit in Davenport, IA for an 80-minute reiki cleansing because I felt as if a force was guiding me to seek help. Recently, I have been under a lot of mental strain and I have felt an intense amount of negative energy surrounding my mind, body, and my soul. This is my experience.

Before the Process

As I communicated with the lovely reiki healer about what was going on in my life, she opened my mind to interpret reality in a different way than what I was currently doing. I told her of my recent heartbreak and the pain that it had caused me to feel deep within my chest. I told her of the intense anxiety that I had been feeling, both from the heartbreak and the drastic change of living arrangements I was experiencing. I told her of the anxiety-driven panic attacks that I was experiencing that would start off as a pain in my chest and turn into a harsh cry followed by the frightening moments of hyperventilation and body tingling. I told her how I felt lonely in this world at times and that I find myself constantly overthinking about everything that occurs in my life—only causing myself more anxiety. The one thing that I was initially surprised about was the level of comfort I felt around her from the moment I met her. I felt the freedom to tell her my rawest emotions without any second thoughts. I know, and I know she knows, that she was meant to be a healer. Her energy was calming, and I felt as if I had known her for my entire life. After I told her of my current troubles, she began to teach me a new way of thinking.

Starting with the break-up, she looked me in the eye and told me that, “sometimes when you get the things you want, you have to lose them because they aren’t what you need,” and that is a thought that truly opened my eyes. She went on to tell me how there is no such thing as a loss, only a lesson. This is ironic because a very wise friend that I have stands by that mentality firmly and has told me that several times. As she told me that and as I reflected on the words of my wise friend, I began to think about the relationship and the way it ended and what lessons could have possibly arose from the entire situation. I reached a point where I finally saw the lesson that was meant to be learned. I will not go into the private details of the relationship, but if there is one thing that I gained and learned is that one should always: trust their intuition. This is something I struggle with because I tend to make decisions based on the frequently unstable emotions that I experience, rather than the deep feelings in the innermost parts of my mind that I actively choose to ignore because most of the time it is a harsh truth that I refuse to accept, even though in the end it is what my soul needs to thrive. Hearing these words of advice from my friend and then from the reiki healer has pushed my mind to decide to live by that mentality.

As for moving to a new city and coping with the stress of building a new life, she told me to look towards the supreme beings that guard my soul and ask them for help at times. By this, she does not just mean pray to religious beings; by this, she also meant to ask the angels and archangels that surround us all to look over my soul and help myself find the right direction. She told me to dig deep within my soul and to find my voice and to discover my true self and then to embrace that true self regardless of what those around me have to say. I internalized her words and I made a promise to myself that I am going to put my all into myself because I am worth it.

She ended the conversation by communicating with me methods that I can use outside of reiki healing to keep my energies (or chakras) opened and aligned. She spoke on meditation, the usage of crystals, essential oils, and yoga. Although I did have some prior knowledge of a variety of the mentioned methods, she only deepened my knowledge and expanded my mind further. At the conclusion of our conversation, she smudged my entire being with sage and led me into her room that is free of all negative energy.


Now, I will not tell of the methods that she used, as my eyes were covered and my mind was not focused on her movements; rather, I will tell what I felt. Please note that what I feel may not be what you will feel, and you should approach every type of cleansing with an open mind and no expectations. This is merely my sharing of my personal experience.

At first, as I was doing some deep breathing, I felt my body relax and I felt my mind quiet. As she continued her process, I began to feel nothing at all. I had been holding crystals in the palms of both of my closed hands, but I recognized that I could neither feel myself holding them anymore nor feel the tension of my closed hand. I would have to say that I felt paralyzed. I could not feel the blanket that was covering my feet and I could not feel the cloth that was covering my eyes. This was not an alarming feeling of numbness—it was completely calming. I felt at ease. Nothing mattered. Everything was okay. I simply accepted the feeling and allowed myself to continue feeling it.

I felt like this for most of the healing session. However, when she placed the crystal, citrine, on my solar plexus (which is the chakra near the abdominal area) I felt a throbbing sensation. It was not painful, but I noticed it as soon as she placed the charged crystal on that area. That is the only place I felt anything during the healing session. I can say that at times I felt a sort of forceful energy near my chest, head and throat area, where the heart, third eye, and throat chakra lie. As the session ended, she had me open my eyes and I felt a variety of different things upon being released.


As I opened my eyes, I felt very tired and quite exhausted. My body still felt slightly numb, but it was almost as if I was slowly inching myself back to my physical body as I started to feel things again at a very slow rate. She began to tell me how she could see that all my chakras were completely closed off and that she noticed a large amount of unnecessary energy surrounding my heart, chest, and third eye chakras. I found this to be interesting because it was those regions where I felt tension and then a release of tension during the healing process. One part of this entire process that I enjoyed the most was the way that she maintained her calm energy and made eye contact with me. She was looking right into my soul and I could feel our soul’s energy intertwining. I did feel some emotions rush out of me afterward, a few tears did appear in my eyes, but I told myself in my head that “I do hurt, but I no longer have to hurt. I am done hurting. I am strong. What happened, happened.” I felt those emotions slowly dwindle away before they had the chance to attack my newly uncovered energy.

As I left her place, I felt better. I recognized that I noticed more sounds around me and that I was seeing things rather than just looking at them, which is due to my pineal gland being activated during my meditative state. I was also tired, but I cannot clearly articulate the feeling I felt and still feel because it is so deep within my soul. The best way I can put it is that I felt and still feel—grounded.  

I truly recommend this experience to everyone. If you are in the Eastern Iowa area, pay a visit. Or, do some research on a reiki healer near you. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you.

I wish you all moments of love, happiness, joy, and bliss. Stay positive. Xx

“I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up…. and handle it.”

Tupac Shakur